Things that Make me Happy day 2 ...

Vintage inspired playing cards!

Abigail received these adorable cards at Christmas. I absolutely love the fun retro images on the cards. The cute illustrations and the vibrant colors make me smile! For the last couple weeks after we eat dinner and read the whole family sits on the floor and plays either Old Maid or Crazy Eights. It has become a fun part of our family's evening routine.

Old Maid!

Animal Rummy!


Hearts!


Crazy Eights!

Have a great Friday!

Things that make me Happy Day 1 …

I decided instead of letting myself be beaten and accept feeling shitty, I would take the bull by the horns and think about, talk about and do things that make me happy. For the next 2 months I am going to try to share at least one little thing every day that puts a smile on my face.

SOUL warming food!

(Breakfast!)

My new favorite breakfast is a hot cup of oatmeal with blueberries, 1 tsp. of brown sugar, and milk. I love how with every spoonful there is a warm blueberry that pops; it’s an explosion of sweetness. It’s so yummy!

(Lunch Please!)

My husband’s homemade chicken noodle soup is my favorite lunch. Every weekend I beg him to make me a huge pot of soup that will last the entire week. He finally had a chance to make me some last night. It’s like a big warm hug with every slurp. I have become a soup snob; I can’t even imagine eating canned chicken noodle soup ever again.

What soul warming food puts a smile on your face?

Happy Thursday!

My Apologies...

I wanted to apologize to anyone who has read my last few posts. I haven’t felt like myself lately and have been in a funk. If you have been around a while you know that I suffer with depression. I have been this way for as long as I can remember and unfortunately it is something I have to live with. Last spring I decided to go back to the doctor and give medication another try. I was tired of trying to battle my depression on my own, it was winning. Up until that point I had never had success with taking meds and pretty much boycotted them.

The first med I was put on was a newer drug, one I never heard of. After only taking it a short time I felt fabulous, better than I could ever remember feeling. I could take a deep breath and just feel completely peaceful. I had no anxiety and no signs of depression. Unfortunately I ended up in the emergency room because of that medication. I was covered in a rash from head to toe and my lower lip swelled up at least five times its normal size. I was bummed it didn’t work but it was encouraging to know something could help.

The next med I was put on helped a little. I felt better, but I was so tired and cranky all the time and I was blowing up like a balloon. I gained quite a bit of weight in a short time. My doctor lowered the dose of that med and started me on another one. After a little tweaking I felt wonderful. The depression faded, I wasn’t irritable or short with anyone, I lost more weight than I had gained and I could just enjoy life without feeling dread all the time. Along with feeling fabulous and having my life back I was overflowing with artist ideas. I was excited about creating and had an upbeat positive outlook.

My depression always gets worse in the spring. Once Valentine’s Day is over and March begins to approach my depression will take over my life. I dread March and April. I wish I could skip the next two months and fast forward to the end of May. For about two weeks I have been very blah. I am having the hardest time creating anything and I have become really hard on myself. Yesterday after I dropped Abbey off at preschool all I wanted to do was sit and cry. I decided to call my doctor before I felt any worse. We upped the dose of one of my medications and I am hoping that will help.

It’s hard to describe how amazing it feels not to be depressed. Depression was my norm for such a long time. It holds you back from the person you are and the person you want to be. My relationship with my husband and my children has improved so much over the last five months. I am happy, patient, fun, laid back, and balanced. I increased my medication this morning and I have been doing little things all day that make me happy. I want to enjoy March and April for a change instead of hiding under the covers.

Torn ...

Have you ever been smack in the middle of a situation and your heart is torn in two different directions? No matter what decision you make you are going to feel bad and let someone down. No matter how hard you try you are not going to make everything work and you are going to end up disappointing somebody. I always want to do the right thing and sometimes it just is not possible. My family is the most important thing to me. My children should come first but there have been a few occasions in the last several months where I have put their feelings second and someone else’s feelings first. I explained to my son sometimes we need to make sacrifices for people that we care about and he understood the best way an eight year old could. I think it is important to teach my children compassion and patience. There are so many rude, self-centered people out there and I think it’s important to teach them to look at other people’s feelings first. I don’t want them to become doormats but I do want them to understand that it’s important to care about other people not only themselves.

I know that the choice my husband and I made was the right one for our family. I just feel terrible that I let someone down that I really care about. Sometimes I wish life was black and white and not so damn grey!

A Few New Things in My Etsy Shop …

Here are a few items I just added to my Etsy shop.

I wanted to try a new way showcase my art so I decided to make a few cute banners. The first banner I created has a little bit of a retro feel. I took a print of my original pastel and colored pencil drawling, “Green Pear” and built a fun banner around it. I took the print of the pear and hand sewed it to a vintage cookbook page. I then took the cookbook page and attached it to a piece of recycled cardboard with pumpkin orange thread. I added vintage sequins to the corners of the prints to give them a little sparkle. Lastly I strung vibrant red ribbon through the little pieces of art.

The next banner I did features my “Love Keeps Me Singing”, collage. I originally created this happy little collage to drown away the winter blues. The collage is a fun mix of brown paper bag, vintage book and music pages, beads, sequins, pictures of flowers from my yard, prints of my pink bird, pastels and colored pencils. I started creating this banner by hand sewing vintage music pages onto recycled cardboard. I then sewed the print of the collage onto the cardboard and decorated it with vintage beads and sequins. Lastly I strung white ribbon through the little pieces of art.






I also put a couple of my latest art creations onto cards.

I wanted to send out a quick thank you to Liz Revit. She always leaves the nicest comments on my blog and always has such encouraging words. If you have not been to her art blog, http://lizrevit.blogspot.com/ or her website, http://www.lizrevit.com/ take some time to catch up with this talented artist. Thank you Liz!!!!

My Kryptonite ...

We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Things that hold us back, things we are afraid of. Like everyone else I have a laundry list of things I wish I could change about myself. There are things about myself, flaws, which I have learned to, accept because they are who I am. I am never going to be an elegant speaker, I will always be a shy and awkward, and I will never be a social butterfly.

However there is one flaw, defect, or fear which is by far the most crippling to me and that is my lack of confidence. It is the one defect in my personality that I have to change because for as long as I can remember it has held me back from being the person I want to be. I am always second guessing myself, feeling like I am not good enough, sabotaging myself.

I love creating art. It is my way of expressing who I am. There is nothing else in the world that makes me feel more complete or whole. There is nothing else I want to do with my life other than sell my art. Unfortunately when it comes to sharing my art, thinking about promoting my art, or even starting a facebook page for my art I start second guessing myself. I begin tearing apart what I created; thinking that it just isn’t good enough. My lack of confidence is crippling to the business I desire for myself, the career I have envisioned for myself. It is my kryptonite.

I admire confident people. My husband is the most confident person I know. He is so sure of himself and his abilities and because of this he has excelled in his career and in his life. In the last couple months his career has taken off and I truly believe his confidence has played a huge role in that. People are attracted to people who are confident in themselves and what they do. Confident people make the people around them feel at ease. Confidence is by far the most important quality for a person to have when they are dealing with people and selling something.

I read several artist blogs and I am in complete aw in how easy it is for them to share who they are and what they do. They are so comfortable and sure of themselves. They share what they are doing like it is the most unique, important, and amazing creation out there. Their confidence in their creations makes everything they do that more attractive more desirable.

I have to stop feeling like that terribly shy, painfully awkward, twelve year old who has completely no confidence in herself or my dream of having a successful business will only be that a dream. I have to let go, jump in feet first and stop second guessing myself. I know what I have to do I just wish I was confident enough to do it!

Night Owls ...

My newest painting “Night Owls” features two colorful owls sitting on a white birch branch at sunset. Behind the vibrant owls is a dark teal sky that is spotted with little stars and a crescent moon. This little number can be found in my Etsy shop.




Have a wonderful Thursday!